I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
areolas are like halos for boobs.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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