i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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