i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
