his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
