Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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