i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
