ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
