at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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