Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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