There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
