smell my finger.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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