Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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