thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
