I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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