Can Purell be used as lube?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you inspire me to be a worse person
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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