just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
