i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
