it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
