Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
