drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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