Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
