Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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