Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize