remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
