Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
