You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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