I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
