the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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