so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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