Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
