white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
