i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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