how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
