Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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