Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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