whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
