she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
