It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm just crazy horny about you
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
