I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
