I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I need to align my fucking chakras
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
