when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
