How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We named our party play list daddy issues
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
