Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
