the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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