there's paper in my vomit.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
