Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
