if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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