He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
