I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
