i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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