OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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