I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
