I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
