I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
