So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
