After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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