This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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