i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
