in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
