it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
there is glitter all over my balls
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
