you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
