Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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