saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
