Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
