Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
my liver is dry heaving
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
