we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
where are my eyebrows?
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